Dying to self ...what's involved!?

Death to self assumes you have a self to die to. Therefore when Jesus, after predicting His suffering and glory to His disciples in Matthew 1:21-23, follows that with a call to discipleship (Matt. 16:24-28). In this call He uses a familar but trying phrase to expose the type of follower Jesus desires, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me" (Matthew 16:24). This arouses deep devotion and humility within the soul.  Where does that take one in the sense of internal reflection and determination whether one is a true disciple? It seems death to self as a disciple of Jesus must relinquish control of one's life, even to the point of being willing to suffer and die for the cause of Christ.
In a recent leadership conference I attended, I picked up a book written by Geri Scazzero with Peter Scazzaro (creators of Emotionally Healthy Spirtuality). Within it's pages, She makes a statement that grabbed my attention,

"A problem with many Christians begins when we try to sacrifice a self we do not possess. We try to die to our fears, our anger, or our sadness, for example, without first embracing that we are afraid, angry, or sad. We try to die to certain thoughts and feelings that are not of God's kingdom without fully acknowledging they exist within us"  (Geri Scazzero, (2010). I Quit! Zondevan. pg. 74). 

She goes on to comment that in her journey in discerning what parts she should die to and what parts she shouldn't, it was crucial to grow in knowing herself.  Few of us devote adequate time for the reflection required to to create awarenness of the interior self.

 The point is well taken than when I seek to die to my self, I must have enough respect for the way God has made me to appreciate what I need to die to in order to follow Jesus Christ whole-heartedly. Knowing my heart requires standing in God's presnce and asking myself some difficult questions about what motivates my actions, reactions, feelings, and thoughts. Then when I know that repentence is required in any of these areas, death to self can be genuine.